“Choosy Moms Choose Jif”

 

The video I chose for your essay was a YouTube video about what people who are vegetarian are told by non-vegetarians. I think this video complicated your essay, and maybe you could talk more about how other people treated you as a vegetarian versus who you were usually treated. I was curious to know more about your decision to be a vegetarian for a week, and I think if you explained it more in depth, your essay would be stronger. I know you briefly mentioned that you only really ate chicken, so maybe you can talk about why you only ate chicken, and what about the other meats you did not like about it or if you have any beliefs that pertain to you not eating particular meats. I think having the thinking behind your decision would make the reader better understand where you are coming from. Furthermore, for your revision I would definitely focus on the contrast you found during your Spring Break: you can choose what you eat but those who are less fortunate can’t. You can definitely explore in your essay the cultural norm of food consumption, and how you didn’t realize how it could be different in other countries.

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